After seeing a strange but convincing post on her dash, Sarah decides to test its theory. She begins holding her breath—an easy task for a first-chair clarinet—and carefully clicks “reblog”. The post becomes lighter as the loading icon appears, spinning in the center like the circle of life itself. Suddenly, her computer shuts down as it runs out of battery. The girl frantically begins searching for her laptop charger, still holding her breath with a determined will. She won’t lose this fight. As her computer begins to turn on, she pounds the wall beside her in frustration as she notices the Windows mandatory update screen—once a simple annoyance, it is now the key that seals her fate. “Come on, come on!” she whispers, afraid to use up too much of her precious air supply, now dwindling as the percentage slowly increases. 35%. Her lungs are on fire, but she cannot give up. 50%. Black spots begin to cloud her vision. 70%. Feeling faint, she leans back and tries to keep her racing mind focused on the task at hand. 85%. Mere seconds remain. 99%. … Just as it hits 100%, her screen comes to life, but the girl can’t take it anymore and promptly passes out, knocking over the poorly-placed lit candle on her dresser. It ignites the pile of school papers on the ground, and within minutes the whole house is ablaze. Fortunately, Sarah lives alone, and only one life is taken in the tragic accident. It’s a shame that she put so much trust in the internet with such a personal matter as kissing. Perhaps she should’ve just asked her girlfriend instead, thus saving all of this trouble.
reblog or sarah’s lips will haunt you and give you bad luck for eight years
reblogging for that story
oh mY GOD
I have a really hot waiter.Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.
wanna know what these all say?
"suck his dick"
I ain’t even mad
tumblr staff changing the shade of some of the buttons is their version of moving all the furniture in the house two inches to the left
in my 8th grade english class, we had to make mother’s day cards, and i didn’t feel like making one, so i was like “my mom died six months before i was born” and started crying, and she believed me and i didn’t have to do it
i mean you’d think a teacher would know someone can’t give birth 6 months after dying
This is gold
Surgically Altered Ceramics by Beccy Ridsdel
UK-based artist Beccy Ridsdel creates fun yet strangely macabre interventions where ceramics have been surgically altered to reveal additional layers of detail. Where the metaphor of surgery might normally evoke blood and guts, Ridsdel instead reveals further floral patterns inside bone china plates and cups. The pieces are part of an ongoing examination regarding the perception of ceramics as craft or art. You can see more of her work over on Facebook and she has a few pieces for sale in her shop. (via Slow Art Day)
No you guys this is the actual narration from the episode. I fucking love animal planet.